A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_URI::$config is deprecated
Filename: core/URI.php
Line Number: 101
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Router::$uri is deprecated
Filename: core/Router.php
Line Number: 127
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$benchmark is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$hooks is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$config is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$log is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$utf8 is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$uri is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$exceptions is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$router is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$output is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$security is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$input is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$lang is deprecated
Filename: core/Controller.php
Line Number: 82
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$db is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 396
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_DB_mysqli_driver::$failover is deprecated
Filename: database/DB_driver.php
Line Number: 371
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$pagination is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::open($save_path, $name) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::open(string $path, string $name): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 132
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::close() should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::close(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 294
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::read($session_id) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::read(string $id): string|false, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 168
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::write($session_id, $session_data) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::write(string $id, string $data): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 237
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::destroy($session_id) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::destroy(string $id): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 317
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Return type of CI_Session_files_driver::gc($maxlifetime) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::gc(int $max_lifetime): int|false, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice
Filename: drivers/Session_files_driver.php
Line Number: 358
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 282
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: session_set_cookie_params(): Session cookie parameters cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 289
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 304
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 314
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 315
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 316
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 317
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: ini_set(): Session ini settings cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 375
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: session_set_save_handler(): Session save handler cannot be changed after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 110
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: Warning
Message: session_start(): Session cannot be started after headers have already been sent
Filename: Session/Session.php
Line Number: 143
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$session is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property System::$obj is deprecated
Filename: libraries/System.php
Line Number: 4
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/System.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property System::$company_email is deprecated
Filename: libraries/System.php
Line Number: 11
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/System.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/System.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property System::$company_name is deprecated
Filename: libraries/System.php
Line Number: 11
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/System.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/System.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$system is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Functions::$obj is deprecated
Filename: libraries/Functions.php
Line Number: 5
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/libraries/Functions.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$functions is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$form_validation is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$image_lib is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 1283
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$login_model is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 358
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$front_login_model is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 358
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$no_records is deprecated
Filename: controllers/Front.php
Line Number: 5
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property Front::$front is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 358
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: filter_var(): Passing null to parameter #3 ($options) of type array|int is deprecated
Filename: core/Input.php
Line Number: 572
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Image_lib::$dest_image is deprecated
Filename: libraries/Image_lib.php
Line Number: 576
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/core/MY_Controller.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$load is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$asset is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$benchmark is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$hooks is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$config is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$log is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$utf8 is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$uri is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$exceptions is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$router is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$output is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$security is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$input is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$lang is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$db is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$pagination is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
Message: Creation of dynamic property CI_Loader::$session is deprecated
Filename: core/Loader.php
Line Number: 931
Backtrace:
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/application/controllers/Front.php
File: /homepages/45/d888688453/htdocs/index.php
A PHP Error was encountered
Severity: 8192
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Forgiving- Is it easier to forgive yourself or others? - Prakalpaa - Homing Soul
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Where you find yourself.
Forgiving- Is it easier to forgive yourself or others?
It is a tiny word that holds multitudes of meanings and perspectives. I have heard people talk so much about forgiving others like their toxic parents, partner’s past, their partner’s mistake, friends, relatives, etc. Forgiving someone may seem easy for one person, difficult for the other. But for me forgiving is more personal. Forgiving someone has been easy for me. I always forgive people easily, but it was never easy to forget what they did or how they made me feel. As a result, I end up hurting myself more in forgiving someone. I have my traumas from the past. I do get triggered and the memories haunt me.
But over the years, I have understood something. It has been challenging to forgive myself for my mistakes rather than forgive others. Although I am healing through my mistakes and traumas, forgiving myself for what I have done has been difficult. I see someone younger than me flourishing or accomplishing, I am genuinely happy for them. Yet, a part of me frowns on me telling you could have had that if you hadn’t done certain things.
I am a secured person and I really don’t hate myself. But I tend to punish myself for long for the mistakes I have done. No amount of self-love, inner child healing had helped me forgive myself easily. They say healing is a process, I feel every time I try to heal, there is this part of me sabotaging it from the inside. But I tried to control that voice that is punishing me by re-assuring myself that everything is happening for a reason. I started to simply trust the process and go with the flow.
The key here is not to fight against what you are feeling at the moment and rather accepting you for your thoughts, feelings and vibes. It is okay to take a day off for yourself. It is okay to do something different than what your peers do. You don’t always have to gel with them for proving your love. Accepting that you are a human and you will make mistakes, helps us become better version of ourselves. Remember, when you understand yourself, take time and accept who you are, beautiful things happen around you. This will also help you understand others in a better perspective and perhaps make you more empathetic.
I must say, I feel better than I was earlier and am trying not to be too harsh on myself. The progress is slow yet, it is satisfying. It has also helped me have few healthy conversations with my friends regarding things that bother me. I feel more empowered and less entitled while having difficult or uncomfortable conversations. If there is someone out there finding it difficult to cope up, here is me assuring you to heal. It is a messy process, but it will be so rewarding. Accepting your messy self is the key to holistic healing process.
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